zonkered.net

Occasionally, especially when life is being less than thrilling, I think about opening a small bakery/sweet shop in New York.  Since there’s no such thing as a budget in fantasyland, it would be either in the Village or one of the hypertrendy areas of Brooklyn – Williamsburg or Greenpoint maybe – and would be a cute little hole in the wall with a steady stream of hip young professionals who come in for old-fashioned cookies and treats.  I’d make raspberry muffins, chocolate chip pecan cookies, thumbprint cookies,  blueberry torte, and my Hershey’s syrup brownies.

And I’d definitely make the Heath Bar Crunch blondies I made this afternoon, because they are awesome.

Of course, I don’t really want to open a bakery, because it would be an insane amount of work, and I’m pretty happy having semiregular hours and time to sleep.  But it’s fun to imagine.

Here’s the recipe.  I would normally put this on my food blog, but, well.  It’s not like I use it enough to bother using it:

Heath Bar Crunch Blondies

1 ½ cups sifted flour
1 tsp. salt
2 cups brown sugar firmly packed
2 eggs slightly beaten
1 cup Heath Bar Crunch bits
2 tsp baking powder
½ cup vegetable shortening or lard
2 tsp. vanilla

Sift flour with baking powder and salt. Melt shortening, add it and sugar to flour mixture. Add eggs and nuts.

Mix and spread in a well-greased pan (9X13). Bake in a 350° oven for about 25 minutes. Cool and cut.

I baked in a 9×9 pan instead, and when I checked on them after 20 minutes, they were nowhere near done, so I left them at least another ten.

So I’ve been interested in Zen Buddhism for a while, have been collecting books, and meditating in my own fail-y way in the spare room, and have decided that I want to pursue this properly.  Eventually I’m going to go to the New York Zen Center for meditation lessons, but since the Zen Center is a) in Brooklyn and b) gives meditation instruction on Sunday mornings at 9:30, it may take awhile to overcome the laziness.  In the meantime, I’ve been looking into what else I need to do this right, and have been struck by two things:

1. You need a surprising amount of stuff for a minimalist tradition
2. If I ever have any hope of creating a zen corner in my apartment, I need to get rid of some of my crap.

Since I’m currently living in somewhat reduced circumstances, I’ve started on the latter, and so far this morning I’ve pitched a cardboard cat house, two bags of trash, and one bag of recycling.  Later, when I’m dressed and can brave the freaking cold again, I’ll take out more stuff.

I’ve also been brainstorming how to create an altar without spending a whole lot of money.  I already figure that one of my pashmina scarves (purchased for $5 on a corner) will work for a cloth.  I may be able to use one of my many bowls as an incense bowl, but the purchase of incense, incense ash, a Buddha, and a candle will have to be purchased, but shouldn’t be too expensive.

The only other problem is where to put all of this…

So last night, I spent the night shuddering under the covers, waking up once an hour between 2 am and 6 am, sneezing and coughing, and generally feeling miserable.  By 4, I decided there was no way in hell I was going into work that day, and I reset my alarm for 8, at which point I called in and then spent the rest of the day in bed, surfing the internet, reading Merlin fanfiction, and eating toast.

By tonight I was feeling mostly better, and I had a crazy craving for rice pudding, of all things.  Luckily, Smitten Kitchen had posted a recipe for it earlier this month.

I pretty much made it to her specifications…except I only had three cups of milk left (and now have none, so a grocery trip is in the near future) so my pudding was a little thicker and stickier.  I also added about a quarter teaspoon more almond extract because, in my opinion, there is no such thing as too much almond flavor in a dessert.  It was awesome.  It could have only been more awesome if I’d still had some dried cherries left to mix in, but I finished those off for lunch last weekend.

A possible future rice pudding alteration is with coconut milk – I’m pretty sure that would be terrific, but am still working out what other flavors to add to make it great.

It probably really screws any geek cred I may actually have to admit this, but I was never really into Arthurian legend.  I was a voracious reader growing up, and as such read some fantasy along the way, but none of it really stuck.  My beloved books were Laura Ingalls Wilder and L.M. Montgomery.  My mother fed me the classics, like Emily Bronte (this explains my penchant for overdrama and my deep and abiding love for romance novels) and Upton Sinclair.  I didn’t really get into fantasy until college, when I gravitated towards the other geeks and read J.R.R. Tolkien, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, C.S. Lewis (though I never really warmed to Lewis – the Christian themes are a little overt when you’re reading the books at nineteen).  I read some Arthurian stuff along the way, but never really dove headfirst into it.

This might explain why I have no real problems with Merlin, the BBC’s latest interpretation of the legend which, frankly, takes the Arthur myth, switches it around, and comes out with something awesome.

Merlin starts off in the reign of King Uther Pendragon, who has ruled for 20 (plus?) years and has banned magic from Camelot for about that long.  The Once and Future King is still a prince, and Merlin is teenaged peasant who happens to have powers that no one has seen the likes of before.  He comes to Camelot, where he has to hide his magic from all but his guardian, the royal physician Gaius, and promptly meets and gets into a completely unmatched brawl with Arthur.  Needless to say, they aren’t terribly thrilled with each other.  And when Merlin is informed by the dragon imprisoned beneath the castle that it’s his destiny to protect Arthur? Even less thrilled.  When he saves his life and is “rewarded” with the position of Arthur’s manservant?  You get the picture.

The dynamic between Arthur and Merlin is what makes the show.  They start out snarky and bitchy, and frankly, they stay snarky and bitchy, but you can see them growing closer together through the numerous near-death experiences until several episodes in, you realize they’re two friends who will literally do anything for each other.

The slash practically writes itself.  Hell, the slash has been snacking on my brain nonstop since I watched the first series right after Christmas, and shows no sign of letting up anytime soon.

There are problems, of course.  If you’re a history geek, like me, you too will wince slightly at the tomatoes, potatoes, sandwiches, and sleeveless gowns that no medieval woman would wear in public, but those are little details.  (And technically, the story takes place in “Albion,” which is an old name for Britain, but in this case is technically a complete fantasyland).  Let go of the little details, and you have an awesome, engaging series that appeals to multiple generations.

In short? Totally recommend.

Edit: Christ, I sound pretentious…it’s the NyQuil, I swear.  Less pompously: Merlin is silly, snarky, has terrible CGI and really great acting (Anthony Stewart Head as Uther Pendragon is the most recognizable, but Bradley James and Colin Morgan are both awesome as Arthur and Merlin.  Oh, also for any former or current Heroes fans: Mystery Sock! As Lancelot! It actually works).  It’s compelling and damn addicting, and I may never get my soul back.  It’ll be on NBC this summer.  Watch it.

I’m also likely to pontificate on about my fanfic writing for Merlin, so the two or three of you actually reading this blog should keep that in mind.

Today, the trial to determine who wins the Minnesota senate seat in the race between Al Franken and Norm Coleman begins.  I’d like to take the opportunity to address the former senator and former mayor of St. Paul.

Dear Norm,

We go way back.  I originally didn’t vote for you as governor of the state of Minnesota my freshman year of college.  You may remember that election; it’s the one you lost to a former professional wrestler.   Paul Wellstone had to die for you to get into the senate.  Now you’ve been defeated by a comedian who hasn’t even lived in Minnesota for most of his life.  It must suck a lot.  Really.  I sympathize with you.

But it’s time to be an adult about it, Norm.  You lost the election.  Al Franken is now the senator from Minnesota.  Let it go.  Go….consult or something.

Hugs and kisses (no, not really),

Amanda

So, I got Juno through Netflix this weekend and popped it in to watch this morning.  Five minutes in I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to make it all the way through it (for those playing at home, that would be the moment “Honest to Blog” was uttered on the screen).  20 minutes in, I turned it off entirely.

It’s not that I have anything against hip dialogue, but there’s so much here that it’s distracting.  And annoying.  It goes from giving the movie the flavor of being young, to being tiring because it’s desperate to be young.  I think there might be a good story in there somewhere, but its buried under way too many layers of pretentious, hipper-than-thou language.

So I think I’ll just go back to renting dvds of The West Wing.

After the initial panic and rage upon learning that I had to take a four day work week and make do on $600 less a month, I decided that I was going to EMBRACE this opportunity and, you know, write.  Possibly finish the story I wrote in class last year and submit it (probably fruitlessly) for publication.  And I have kept to that – I’ve written something most of my off days in the month of January.

The thing is what I’ve written has all been, um, fanfiction.  For Merlin.

So my goal for Friday is to open up “Gameplay,” flesh out the dance scene, edit the hell out of it, and start looking for magazines that accept genre short fiction – easier said than done, if I’m remembering my initial flip through the Fiction Writer’s Market correctly.

This is, of course, if I don’t get another plot bunny.  If that happens then I foresee this getting pushed back to February.

I have thus far spent my weekend writing a small amount of fanfiction (for Merlin, BBC series and my new obsession) and reading Harlequin ebooks, and I have come across something that really annoys me: whenever there is an unexpected pregnancy (and as this is Harlequin, and Unexpected Pregnancy is right up there with Seducing Virginal Secretary, this happens a lot) at least one of the parties, often both, express dismay and horror at the very idea of an abortion.  In this particular book (which also included Seducing Virginal Secretary, so possibly I’m expecting too much), the hero referred to his ex-wife’s abortion as MURDERING THEIR CHILD.

I’m not sure why this bugs me so much when I gloss over the Twenty Six Year Old Drop Dead Gorgeous Virgin thing, but there you go.